What is Yoga Nidra?

Yoga nidra is simultaneously described as a holistic practice, a meditation process or a state of consciousness, depending on the context.

It is an ancient practice which takes care of all layers of the self including:

• the biological, physiological body

• our energy levels and our vitality

• our psychology, our mental and emotional processes, our personality

• our spiritual health, spiritual connection and spiritual wellbeing.

Yoga nidra was originally used as a path for Self Realisation or for Union with the Divine.

In fact, the term ‘Yoga’ can be translated as Union with the Divine.

Another rarer translation for the word Yoga is ‘Awakening to All That Is’, ‘Awakening to the Interconnectedness of All Things’. *And then the word ‘Nidra’ is usually translated as ‘deep sleep’.

So, it’s like a play on words:

Awakening through the practice of deep sleep.

And in the practice of Yoga Nidra, you lie on your back with eyes closed, although this position can be modified if you have some kind of injury or health condition which prevents this.

But traditionally, Yoga Nidra is practised lying supine and you simply close your eyes and listen to the voice of a guide who takes you down through the layers of the self into a state of deep relaxation where your brainwaves slow down and replicate the state of deep sleep.

However, during the practice of yoga nidra, you are actually still awake. Or at least, that is the intention.

The body is put to sleep. The mental activity is put to sleep, the thoughts and emotions and the personality are put to sleep. But we remain awake.

Because it replicates the state of deep sleep, sometimes in the beginning, people tend to fall asleep whilst practising yoga nidra. This is usually sleep that they really need if they’re in a sleep-deprived state. But with continued practice and perseverance, we learn to stay awake.

So, why would we want to stay awake as we take ourselves down into a state that resembles deep sleep?

Well, that is where we usually encounter, what is described in ancient traditions, as our True Nature.

According to these traditions, our True Nature is a state of deep happiness and unshakable peace. And we usually encounter this state of bliss every night during deep sleep. (Not REM sleep or light restless sleep, but deep sleep).

The only problem is, when we wake up afterwards, we re-encounter all our worries, all our anxieties and all our physical ailments.

Everything that we forgot while we were in the state of deep sleep, we remember in the so-called waking state and we forget the deep happiness and peace that we enjoyed in deep sleep.

So, yoga nidra is a way of staying awake while we encounter the happiness that we usually enjoy in the state of deep sleep.

When our ego personality is put to sleep, we are able to awaken within the Divine.

It is like these two parts of the self cannot co-exist.

We often can’t remember what it’s like to be happy when we are in our egoic state.

And similarly, we can’t remember our misery when we’re in that deep sleep bliss state.

So, the practice of yoga nidra is a way of cultivating the happiness and peace of deep sleep whilst still awake and bringing all that healing and rejuvenation that we get in deep sleep with us into our waking life at a conscious level.

And it has enormous benefits on the physiological level, and the psychological level, in terms of rewiring the brain's habitual negative programming and in terms of soothing the nervous system.

So, it helps to regulate our body’s processes in all ways, whether that be hormonally or in relation to our brain chemistry or our nervous system or psychologically and spiritually.

You can find guided Yoga Nidra meditations on my YouTube channel, Spirit Restorative:

https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritRestorative

If you haven't practised yoga nidra before, you may like to try out the guided meditation in this video.

How the Power of Creation helps with low confidence

The Power of Creation is one of the three elements of natural wellbeing.

The Three Elements are the Power of Creation, the Power of Presence and the Power of Wisdom.

The Power of Creation can help with our psychological wellbeing, particularly in relation to low confidence and anxiety.

This approach is based on the understanding that all of our experiences come through the filter of our mind. Whether that be our thinking, our feelings, the way we express ourselves, our behaviour, what we see and how we respond to others – all experience comes from our unconscious seed ideas based on our particular origin story or original wound. And we give life to these ideas through our beliefs.

So, if your main experience of everyday life is one of anxiety, of always being worried and concerned and having physical symptoms related to these worries that affect your body, in this approach, we understand that it all comes from our thought.

In this context, “thought” is different from thinking. We could describe “thought” as a seed idea and thinking as the end result. Thinking is mental activity. It is the effect of a seed idea or it is the form of the seed manifested.

So, thinking can arise in the form of a voice in your head telling you that you need to be worried or that you need to protect yourself.

Thinking can arise in the form of mental imagery or flashbacks showing you pictures in your mind of things that went wrong for you in the past and that could potentially go wrong for you again.

You can also imagine worst case scenarios and have that play back in your head in the form of mental imagery.

Now, there are many different seed ideas or thoughts. But let’s take, for example, the seed idea that means a person feels that they’re not good enough and that nothing they ever do is right.

So, this would create an experience for them where the internal chatter in their mind - the end result of this seed idea - would be negative mental chatter, constant criticism of the self, negative self-talk and continually insulting and berating themselves.

We also have a little movie archive in our brain. So, in the case of our person who doesn’t feel good enough, their mental imagery would be composed of all the movies in their archive of past events in their personal history where they believed they messed up and this provides evidence for the belief that he or she isn’t good enough.

Another example would be where a person feels that they can’t trust anybody in their life. So, their invisible seed idea would be, “Nobody can be trusted. I have to protect myself.”

If we were to use the example of feelings instead of thinking, then this would create an experience of always feeling fearful and having to cautiously watch other people in anticipation of getting stabbed in the back. They would always be anticipating and seeing evidence of people letting them down because what we focus our attention on tends to manifest in some way in our lived experience.

So, using the Power of Creation, we can transform our seed ideas and then this creates end results where our thinking, the way we express ourselves, the way we behave and the way we see life, automatically transforms naturally once that initial origin seed idea changes.

When we cut off the root of the unhelpful idea that has been planted in our mind, then its flowers which are the resultant thinking, behaviour, speech patterns and emotions will all transform in correspondence with the new seed idea.

The Three Elements of Psychological and Spiritual Wellbeing

The 3 elements of natural and psychological wellbeing are Creation, Presence and Wisdom.

So, let’s first look at Creation.

This is the power to create through thought.

When we think, we receive ideas and we invest in the ideas that we believe in. We invest them with our energy, we bring them to life and then we see them outpictured in the world around us.

Now, this creative power of thought, as the name suggests, can manifest as our actual thinking, as the words we hear in our mind, or as mental imagery, and as memory and imagination.

But the Power of Creation can also manifest as our emotions and as bodily sensations, as a direct result of receiving and believing in these ideas.

The Power of Creation via thought can also manifest as the appearances of what we see around us and what we choose to pay attention to or focus on in our immediate environment.

The ideas we receive and believe can also manifest in our behaviour and in how we react and respond to other people.

These ideas also impact how we see ourselves and how we view others.

So, one seed idea can create, for us, an entire reality (or pseudo-reality, depending on its validity).

We could look at these ideas as seeds. We could look at beliefs as the water that nurtures the seeds. And we could view the mind as the soil in which the seeds blossom or fester.

Ideas can spread like weeds if they are very negative and we can descend down a rabbit hole of associated unhelpful, unconstructive and destructive ideas.

Alternatively, positive, life-affirming ideas can bloom and blossom likes flowers and contribute to, and enhance, our wellbeing and mental health.

So, that is the Power of Creation that produces our moment-to-moment experience. And you can therefore see, with problems such as low confidence or anxiety, how our seed ideas and beliefs can then contribute to our experience and affect how we see and react to, and interact with, the world around us.

The next fundamental element of natural wellbeing is the Power of Presence.

By Presence, we mean our True Self. The True Self is our identity that extends beyond the physical body and beyond our surface personality.

We could also call it the Soul. But it is a Universal Soul.

Presence could be described as Life itself. It is the animating spirit or what some cultures refer to as the Great Spirit that is the source of all living things.

The Power of Presence is the source of our healing. It contributes to our natural wellbeing because it is beyond the limitations of the physical body, personality and our individual psyche, emotional baggage and hang-ups.

This Eternal Presence existed before we were born and it is what we will eventually return to when our individual consciousness leaves the physical body at death.

And then finally, we have the Power of Wisdom.

This is the innate intelligence of the Great Spirit.

Wisdom is the Voice of the Great Spirit that we receive internally as intuition, clarity and guidance. It includes the wisdom of the ages, the sages and the collective intelligence of all Life.

So these are the three elements of natural wellbeing and psychological and spiritual healing.

And when you understand, access or merge with the Powers of Creation, Presence and Wisdom, they can elevate your wellbeing and expand your sense of Self and be an ever-present source of healing and guidance in your everyday life.

Seven Tips to Unlock the Wisdom and Guidance of your Higher Self

We all have a Universal Guide or inner voice.

In some traditions, this may be called the Holy Spirit. It can also be called Waheguru which means wonderful teacher or supreme being. Other names include Higher Self, the superconscious, Guardian Angel, the Comforter etc. depending on what tradition, culture or belief system that people belong to.

Whatever you choose to call it, this Universal Guide is on hand to help us with decisions, fears, phobias, anxieties, judgements and misperceptions.

So here are my tips for unlocking our channel to inner guidance and higher wisdom.

Tip number 1: You don’t have to have a psychic gift

When it comes to receiving guidance from Spirit or our Higher Self , the first thing to remember is that no one has special dispensation or special favour.

Don’t think you’re not good enough or not intuitive enough or not psychic enough or not spiritual enough.

Yes, some people have had more practice at listening to guidance from Spirit.

Some people may hear guidance in beautiful prose.

But equally, if Spirit communicates with you in some kind of slang or dialect that you’re familiar with, it doesn’t make it any less meaningful or true. It’s not the form in which the message appears that is important, it’s the meaning of the message itself.

Anyone who sincerely wishes to communicate with Spirit can do so. This is because at another level, we are all Spiritual Beings just pretending to be human.

Our Whole Self, our Eternal Self is Spirit, and it is that which gives us Guidance.

Tip number 2: Receiving guidance from Spirit is a form of prayer. Only it’s listening rather than talking.

Last week, I heard a couple of interesting definitions of prayer.

One was from a teacher of the Kabbalah who described prayer as a “gut-level” need.

Another description I heard was from an ACIM teacher who described prayer as “the heart reaching out for that which it desires.”

Beyond our worldly desires which might include a new job, a better car, a nicer house, romance, increased financial income, better health or a perfect body, what we ultimately desire is peace, fulfilment and happiness.

Eventually, sooner or later, we will get tired of yearning for things that only satisfy us temporarily and we’ll start towards a journey on a search for true fulfilment beyond the things of this world.

Picture yourself on a moving staircase. An upward escalator. It’s not easy to walk down an escalator that’s moving up.

The easiest thing to do is to go in the direction that the Universe is going and to be in alignment and in sync with it.

There is no point in trying to do your own thing and go against the flow. It’s like going down an upward moving escalator. The Universe is mighty. And when we join with the Universe or with Nature or with the Natural Order instead of trying to fight against it, then so are we.

This involves listening to what is best for us and allowing ourselves to be guided rather than giving the Cosmic Powers That Be a shopping list of what we think we want.

Tip number 3: Choose the right voice

That is, choose the right voice to listen to.

We have two voices that serve as guides. One is a judgemental voice which feeds us with fears, anger and hate.

The other one is a Voice that nourishes us with Love.

If the guiding voice you hear is critical, judgemental, grandiose or harmful, then it’s the voice of your Ego Guide and it should not be paid attention to.

If this voice is telling you to go out and murder someone, obviously this is not the voice of Higher Wisdom. It will never encourage any harm. Tough love maybe. But not harm.

Listen to the Guiding Voice that nourishes you with Love, Comfort and Understanding and Common Sense. It is practical as well as wise.

Tip number 4: Don’t limit the format in which you receive your guidance

If we want to communicate with this inner source of wisdom then sincere intention and desire are all that is needed to communicate with the Infinite Light and Guide within us.

But it may not be in the form of an internal conversation or thoughts in your mind.

It may come to you in the form of a feeling. It may arrive as spontaneous but inspired action without forethought.

You may receive this communication through the words of another human being – a child, a neighbour, a family member or even someone you dislike.

Guidance may be given to you through the lyrics of a song. It may come to you through an overheard snatch of conversation on the bus.

The answer will come to each of us in many ways at our own level of understanding and in our own language or using our own cultural symbols.

So, once you have asked for guidance, stay alert. Listen and watch for signs and synchronicities.

Your willingness, your intention and desire will lead you to hear, understand and follow your inner guide.

Tip number 5: Have patience

The ingredients required to hear and follow your inner guidance are willingness, intention, desire and PATIENCE.

It’s very important for us to have patience with our self once we get started on this practice.

Give yourself time. Learning to listen to guidance is like exercising and strengthening a muscle. This gift will grow stronger, the more you practise it.

Tip number 6: Use a Journal

You may want to keep a journal of the guidance you think you have received, if you followed it and what happened when you did.

Tip number 7: Be kind to yourself

If we judge our self, criticise ourselves constantly, we will slow our progress down and then we will be unable to hear the guidance of our higher wisdom because the voice of our Ego Guide will boom loudly in our inner ear.

So, in remembering the Golden Rule which says, treat others as you would like yourself to be treated, keep in mind that you should treat yourself how you would like others to treat you, with dignity and respect and with patience when you make mistakes.

Listening to the wisdom of your Higher Self or Universal Guide is the second stage of Serene Empowerment.

The book, Serene Empowerment covers the 12 Stages.

Learn more here.

Overview of Stages 1 - 6 of the Serene Empowerment Process

Girl at Mirror by Norman Rockwell, 1954

The first six stages of the Serene Empowerment process for alleviating anxiety and managing stress deal with our most important relationship – the one that we have with our self.

It’s our most important relationship because the way that we perceive our self influences and affects the way that we perceive other people in our life, our society and the world.

Additionally, the way that we perceive our self affects everything we do, every decision we make and influences what we think is possible for us in life.

The way that we see our self can increase our anxiety and stress or it can enhance our power and maintain our strength.

The overarching theme of the first six stages of Serene Empowerment process is serenity – that state of being peaceful, calm and untroubled.

Each stage has a truth statement. They also each have a quality that we can cultivate or embody. So here is a brief overview of the first six stages of the Serene Empowerment process.

Stage 1

Truth Statement:     
We accept that there is a powerful Source within us that can provide us with guidance, wisdom, comfort and peace.

Quality:                      
Awareness

Summary:
We are never alone because we have a Source of Wisdom within us that can guide and help us with the stresses that we encounter in our daily life.

We learn to become aware of and connect with this Source of Wisdom through relaxation and through accepting our negative feelings exactly as they are in order for them to be transformed into resources that can help us.

Stage 2

Truth Statement:     
We turn our daily life over to the care and direction of this Source of Wisdom.

Quality:                      
Trust

Summary:
Once we have become aware of our Source of Guidance and Wisdom as a Living Presence in Stage 1, in Stage 2, we learn to cultivate the habit and practice of turning our daily life, our decisions, our problems and our worries over to the care and direction of this Creative Intelligence and Healing Source of Wisdom. We learn to allow our life to unfold under its direction.

Stage 3

Truth Statement:      We accept that our Original Authentic Self was created in the True Nature and Spirit of this Source of Wisdom and that we are still this Original Self, no matter what we have done or what we have failed to do as an ego personality.

Quality:                      
Self-Recognition

Summary:
We have made an image of our self that is based on what we believe to be our core identity.

This identity could be based on our physical appearance or a health condition or our religion or our nationality or our job title or a mental health diagnosis or a relationship role such as a parent or spouse.

This self-image is also composed of all the things that we think we’ve done wrong or the things that we think we have failed to do. This self is a cluster of beliefs, perceptions and judgements about who we think we are.

However, in Stage 3, we become aware of our Original Self that was here before we were born and that will continue to be present after our body has expired.

This Original Self is not the same as the ego personality that we think we are. It is a source of power and freedom from the limitations and suffering of the ego personality.

Stage 4

Truth Statement:     
We recognise that what we think creates our perception and, therefore, our experience of reality.

Quality:                      
Non-judgement

Summary:
Thought is the vehicle through which we experience life. We only see what’s going on in our own mind.

We don’t experience reality; we experience our judgements, opinions and interpretations about reality.

Our thoughts are the origin of our anxiety and stress and thus they dictate our responses and behaviour.

Stage 5

Truth Statement:     
We commit to continually forgiving and releasing our self from our past errors knowing that our power and healing lie in the present.

Quality:                      
Self-forgiveness

Summary

This stage involves releasing our selves from guilt and setting ourselves free from the prison of the past. We focus on conscience (another word for wisdom) rather than guilt. We also explore the four universal laws of inner peace: surrender, release, gratitude and love.

Stage 6

Truth Statement:     
We make a joyful inventory of all the blessings, gifts, abundance and miracles that we receive in our daily lives.

Qualities:                   
Gratitude and receptivity

Summary
This stage is a celebration of all the good that we have received. It is also a celebration and an acknowledgement of all the insights and inspirations we have received during this process as well as throughout our life as a whole.

What we focus on expands so the more we focus on being grateful, the more we are gifted with things, people and blessings to be grateful for.

The Serene Empowerment process is a gentle and positive pathway.

The book, Serene Empowerment: Spiritual Solutions for Managing Stress is currently available at Amazon and in other online bookstores. The book provides an introduction to all 12 stages and some practical exercises to help to reinforce the understanding of each of the stages.

FAQs about the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment

What are the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment?

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment, which is a holistic program for reducing stress and alleviating anxiety, is inspired by the structure of 12 step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous.

The Original Six Steps of AA

The first 12 step program, pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous, was originally just 6 steps. These were:

1.         We admitted that we were licked, that we were powerless over alcohol.

2.         We made a moral inventory of our defects or sins.

3.         We confessed or shared our shortcomings with another person in confidence.

4.         We made restitution to all those we had harmed by our drinking.

5.         We tried to help other alcoholics, with no thought of reward in money or prestige.

6.         We prayed to whatever God we thought there was for power to practise these precepts.

These 6 steps were later broken down and expanded into 12 steps.

Although the 12 stages of Serene Empowerment are similar in format to the 12 steps, the content and context are somewhat different.

The first 6 stages of the Serene Empowerment program are about healing our relationship with our self. Stages 7 to 12 concern, amongst other themes, our relationship with others.

Why treat conditions like anxiety and depression as if they are addictions?

We normally define addiction or addictive behaviours as having a compulsive need for a habit-forming substance such as alcohol, nicotine or heroin, for example.

We also may define addiction as having a compulsive need to perform a particular activity such as gambling, online gaming or shopping in order to get some kind of high.

We don’t normally define anxiety as an addiction because it’s not a guilty pleasure or indeed any kind of pleasure at all. It doesn’t bring you to a high and there is no short-lived payoff.

However, we can also define an addiction as something that we just can’t stop doing, no matter how hard we may try. So, if you can’t stop worrying or having anxious thoughts, for example, then in that sense, anxiety can be described as a kind of addiction.

As I said in a previous blog post: Why are negative thoughts and emotions are addictive:

“Just as our body becomes accustomed to the taste and flavour of certain foods and craves more of the same, our body also becomes accustomed to the “taste” and “flavour” of certain thoughts, feelings and moods – even those that we view as being negative.

The body/mind complex can become addicted to certain feelings - pleasurable or painful - and then the cells of the body cry out to be fed with more of that emotion…”

Why is it called 12 stages and not 12 steps?

Steps, States & Stages

Steps are like instructions. They can make up a formula or a recipe. You follow each step and hopefully attain a successful outcome.

A state of mind is usually temporary or fleeting. For example, you can be in a peaceful state of mind for a few days when you’re on holiday or on a retreat. Then when you get back home and have to return to work, you may enter an anxious state of mind which may last until the weekend when you have a couple of days off.

I see stages as being more permanent. A stage can be described as an understanding that you come to embody. It is a continual and ongoing way of being rather than just being a temporary mood or state of mind. The 12 Stages aim to bring about sustainable transformation.

The statements for the 12 Stages are not instructions or steps in the sense of being a recipe for success. The statements are also not really affirmations. They are more like realisations that you move into as you progress with each stage of development.

The titles of each stage are more like Truth Statements. Truth statements can be described as something that we already know to be true or that we are committed to bringing into our experience.

Read the truth statements for the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment in full.

Why use spiritual methods to deal with stress and anxiety?

The 12 Stage program of Serene Empowerment is not affiliated with any specific religion and it’s not a religious process.

However, it is a spiritual program in the holistic sense. This is spirituality in the sense of having a deep connection with the Natural Source of Our Being, the part of our consciousness that existed before we were born and that will continue to exist after our body has expired.

Just as we have a physical, emotional and mental part of the self, we also have to include our spiritual self as part of who we are. This Essential Original Spiritual Self has never been hurt, never been scared, never been traumatised and can be a reservoir of wisdom and healing when we learn how to connect with it.

Just as we need food to nourish our bodies, we need our spiritual resources to nourish our minds and give us an innate sense of wellbeing.

When we ignore or neglect the spiritual part of ourselves, we’re ignoring the most important part, the part that gives us strength, power, innate wisdom and inner healing.

The Loving All Method

In my recent blog post, Restoring Peace of Mind During Crises, I said that we are empowered when we fully accept the circumstances, events and situations that we cannot change. This is because emotional resistance creates more suffering on top of any stress and anxiety that we may already be experiencing.

We may feel powerless when certain circumstances arise (like global pandemics or political crises) that directly impact our daily lives but there is a power in accepting things exactly as they are rather than yearning for the way we would wish them to be.

This is an act of surrender to what is, rather than passive resignation or giving up hope and it is an act of surrender that can actually reduce our stress levels.

“Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.”

— Aldous Huxley

Normally, we tend to be consumed by our personality-mind which is the part of us that is always hurt or stressed or worrying about something. But, as I said in the previous blog post, one of the ways we can attain or maintain serenity in a crisis is through our ability to connect with our Essential or Original Self. This is the Self that has never been hurt or wounded and who exists in a state of total peace.

The Loving All Method, as taught by spiritual teacher, Michael Langford, is a stepping stone towards being able to maintain a peaceful untroubled emotional state, no matter what sort of turbulent situations we may be experiencing in our daily lives.

The Loving All Method is an unusual “meditation” practice in that you can do it while you are engaged in other activities and while you are going about your business during the day. You don’t have to set aside a special time to carry it out. It is a living mindful practice.

In summary, the Loving All Method involves accepting and embracing everything you experience exactly the way it is.

This includes accepting, allowing and embracing all your thoughts and emotions exactly as they are.

However, accepting and allowing all your thoughts and emotions does not mean acting or making decisions from a place of fear, stress and worry. It is just giving yourself permission to feel exactly what you feel.

The more completely you accept whatever it is you are feeling, the easier it is to eventually let that feeling go.

The Loving All Method also includes accepting and embracing your body exactly as it is, whether or not you have a diagnosis or health condition and whether or not you perceive yourself as being overweight or too skinny or too tall or too short.

It involves accepting what you see and accepting how you feel whether or not you like what you see. And it involves emotionally accepting everything that happens whether it is pleasurable or not.

There is a certain emotional freedom in allowing yourself to feel your negative emotions completely. But once again, it is not emotionally freeing to react to others via your negative emotions or to make any decisions (big or small) from that emotional headspace.

In the beginning, if you can’t accept and embrace the good, the bad and the ugly things you may be experiencing in daily life just as they are, he says you can initially practice the Loving All Method by just emotionally allowing everything that you experience to be exactly the way it is.

After about a month, Michael Langford says that you can practise emotionally accepting everything you experience just the way it is.

Then after that, you may be ready to begin practising embracing everything that you experience exactly the way it is.

This practice involves being present to everything that occurs without trying to escape. In any case, our situations will still be there whether we emotionally accept them or not.

Practising the Loving All Method doesn’t mean that you don’t protect yourself when you’re in danger. It just means you accept and embrace the circumstances of having to protect yourself.

He says, “If someone were to try to punch you in the face and if you would normally duck, you will also duck while practicing the Loving All Method. Loving the fact that someone is trying to punch you does not mean you will not duck. You also love ducking to avoid being punched.”

“Acceptance is the initiator for change and the first step of transformation.”

— Diana Whitmore

Practising the Loving All Method doesn’t mean that you don’t change the things that need to be changed. When you need to change something, you embrace having to change it.

He emphasises that the Loving All Method refers only to our emotional responses to circumstances, not to our external behaviour. We emotionally accept what is happening rather than emotionally rejecting it. But if there is something we need to change or do and it is within our power to do so, we do it.

For example, if an injustice occurs, we emotionally accept that an injustice has occurred. But if it is in our power to rectify that injustice, even though we have emotionally accepted it, we still work towards undoing that injustice. We emotionally accept negative things that happen but if we can simultaneously put them right, we do so.

Energy that was once used to emotionally resist and reject circumstances can now be used to correct and solve situations or our perceptions of these situations.

You can get the full description and practice instructions of the Loving All Method from Chapter 12 of Michael Langford’s book The Direct Means to Eternal Bliss which is available at this link: http://www.damienboyle.com/page23/files/TMDMTEB.pdf

Restoring Peace of Mind During Crises

What is Serenity?

The dictionary defines serenity as the ‘state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled’.

The famous Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr asks that we have the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.

Often it takes courage as well as serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the things that are beyond our control such as traumatic events that occurred in the past, unexpected situations like the sudden outbreak of a global pandemic or political crises that have direct consequences for our personal lives.

Changing the things that we have the power to change in our daily life is sometimes less stressful than having to accept that there are other circumstances and situations that are beyond our control.

I sometimes feel that the solution lies in the reverse: in being able to allow and accept the idea that unexpected situations will sometimes conspire to disrupt our best laid plans. Being able to allow, accept and even embrace this idea is a step towards eventually gaining that state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled.

Our Essential Self and Our Surface Personality

Our surface personality and identity are made up of our character traits, perceived strengths and weaknesses and how we define ourselves (for example, by race, job title, gender, ethnicity, nationality, family relationships, health diagnoses, physical appearance and so on). This is the self that feels pain, hurt, stress, anxiety and turmoil (as well as fleeting happiness when things go well).

Our Essential Self is the Self that has never been wounded, never been hurt and exists in a perpetual trouble-free state of calm, serenity and peace. It’s the Self that we always have access to but many of us don’t know it exists. This Self lives in a state of pure awareness and acceptance (otherwise known as unconditional love). This Self is open to all experience, is aware of all experience and it transcends all experience. It is a state of being where no judgement and no resistance exists.

On the other hand, our surface personality lives in a state of constant judgement and resistance. The surface personality thrives on drama and, although it may look to “fix” itself or improve itself, it can never really be fixed because its default mode is fear.

But our Essential Constant Self doesn’t even need “fixing” or healing. Our Essential Self heals.

Some traditions call this Self, the Witness or the Observer. This Self has been the only constant part of our identity. It was around when we were a baby. It was there at the age of four. Ever present during our adolescence, twenties, thirties and it is continually present now. It was present before we were born into a physical body and it will continue to exist after we leave the physical body.

The key to serenity is being able to contact, experience and be consciously aware of this Constant Self, this state of pure awareness and acceptance. First you make contact, then you experience it, then you learn to be consciously aware of it all the time and then, you become it.

A lot of our energy is spent on resisting things that are beyond our remit to change. It is often futile, frustrating and depressing. Resistance to what is creates suffering on top of the actual situation that is going on.

However, when we accept that we feel helpless, frustrated and depressed about situations without acting on these feelings and we give ourselves permission to feel frustrated, helpless and depressed without judging or condemning ourselves, this is a first step that will eventually enable us to transcend these feelings and move closer to the Constant Self and the state of calm acceptance, serenity and peace.

The mind can choose to focus and identify with the problems of life or it can choose to focus and identify with the Sacred Space that is our Essential Self through which problems can be solved.

We can’t deal successfully with problems from the level or the consciousness where they were created (as Einstein said). When we view our problems through the lens of the surface personality, they can seem insurmountable. But when we view life through the lens of the Essential Self, clarity and inspiration results and situations can be healed.

Why our negative emotions and thoughts are addictive

Just as our body becomes accustomed to the taste and flavour of certain foods and craves more of the same, our body also becomes accustomed to the “taste” and “flavour” of certain thoughts, feelings and moods – even those that we view as being negative.

The body/mind complex can become addicted to certain feelings - pleasurable or painful - and then the cells of the body cry out to be fed with more of that emotion and, more often than not, the mind will oblige.

This is how we can become addicted to thinking worrying thoughts, angry thoughts or anxious thoughts which can present as long-term anxiety or depression.

When we think, it triggers our emotions and then chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) carry these messages to every cell in our body. The cells can become addicted to these chemical messages (generated by worry thoughts, angry thoughts, shame thoughts etc.) and want to be constantly fed with them.

The Pain Body

Spiritual teacher and writer, Eckhart Tolle often talks about what he calls the pain body.

The pain body holds all our pain, hurt, hate, anger and also collective human pain. The pain body needs to be fed with emotions such as hurt, anger or hate. So, in order for it to be fed, more emotions like that have to be generated. So, we end up looking for narratives, stories, justifications, reasons to create these emotions to feed the pain body.

He describes thoughts as life forms that we identify with. When we identify strongly with certain thoughts, they create certain emotions that feed the Pain Body.

The pain body is formed of grievances and holding grievances nourishes the pain body.

When we become aware of or our habitual thoughts, when we are not embodying or identifying with them or seeing them as our identity but merely observing them, we manage to separate ourselves from our thoughts. And that is the first step towards releasing our grievances and our addiction to painful thoughts and emotions - the realisation that although you have certain thoughts and emotions, those thoughts and emotions are not you. They are something you have. They are not who you are.

Our Internal Antidote to Stress

We all have an antidote to our feelings of anxiety, stress and worry. It is a source of wisdom, guidance, comfort, strength and power that resides within us.

Unfortunately, the catch is the more worried and stressed out, anxious and overwhelmed we are, the more we feel disconnected to this source of power, wisdom and guidance. It’s a real catch 22, a vicious circle. The thing we need most is the thing we feel most disconnected from. And we feel disconnected it from this source even though it’s right there within us. For most of us, this source of wisdom lies dormant waiting to be activated.

This source within us is an instinctive intelligence, a sort of internal guidance system. It’s the same sort of intelligence that helps us to breathe or our hearts beat without us consciously having to think about it. It’s the same intelligence that makes the flowers grow and the same instinctive intelligence that animals have.

When we’re relaxed and we’re not even thinking about an issue, problem or situation that’s been causing us stress and overwhelm or overburdening us, sometimes we are blessed with ah-ha moments and lightbulb moments of inspiration. This is this source of instinctive intelligence at work.

When we’re not directly thinking about a troublesome situation or using our intellect and our problem-solving faculties to work it out, sometimes a potential solution pops into our mind. This instinctive wisdom is different from intellectual knowledge. Sometimes we can just keep going around in mental circles when we try to troubleshoot using logic and intellect alone.

This is why when we’re engaged in something mundane or everyday such as doing the washing up, walking the dog, an idea or solution can emerge in our minds. This is our source of wisdom, our internal power source at work.

When we use the intellect, often we always fall back on what we always have done. We use a past perspective to try and solve current problems. We looked at what has worked before. We don’t look at a new problem with fresh eyes. Whereas this source of intelligence usually gives us a fresh new perspective, an outside of the box solution and sometimes a “counterintuitive” way of solving the issue or the problem or the situation.

The more relaxed we feel, the more connected we can become to this source of wisdom.

The other important factor is trust. Because listening to this source guidance is about learning to trust this innate intelligence within us.

There are 12 stages in the Serene Empowerment process. Stage 1 is:  We accept that there is a powerful source within us that can provide us with guidance, wisdom, comfort and peace in our daily lives.

Read more about the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment.

Why Use Spiritual Solutions to Manage Stress and Anxiety

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment is a process that I’ve developed which helps to ease the anxiety that sometimes stops us from performing or functioning effectively at work, socially or at home.

As the pressures of modern life increase, finding healthy ways to deal with our anxiety and stress is more vital than ever.

Anxiety doesn’t just stop us from enjoying life or from performing effectively but it can also be exhausting, draining, paralysing and unfortunately, totally addictive.

At its worst, ongoing anxiety can lead to mental health problems and, of course, it’s well known that stress is one of the biggest causes of physical ill health and disease.

A holistic and spiritual approach to addressing our issues of anxiety and stress is often the crucial missing piece or missing peace.

But by spiritual, I don’t necessarily mean religious. This is spirituality in the sense of having a deep connection with the Natural Source of Our Being. The innate essence of strength, healing, power and wisdom that’s within us but which usually lies dormant and forgotten.

Just as we need food to nourish our bodies, we need our spiritual resources to nourish our minds and give us an innate sense of wellbeing.

When we ignore or neglect the spiritual part of ourselves, we’re ignoring the most important part, the part that gives us strength, power, innate wisdom and inner healing.

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment has been inspired by the 12 Steps of Alcoholic Anonymous. But because the focus is on easing anxiety, it adopts a slightly gentler approach.

It’s also based on universal spirituality and it’s a simple path designed to reduce anxiety and stress levels one day at a time.

With the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment, you focus on a single stage for say a day, week or month. As you choose.

With the book, Serene Empowerment, you can follow the daily guide which takes you through one stage a week. Each stage focuses on one particular topic. Each day revolves around an exercise, thought for the day or a recommendation to keep you focused and on track.

The ultimate aim of the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment is to help reduce anxiety. Your life may still be busy. You may still have pressurising deadlines. You may still have to face challenging family circumstances but you’ll gradually gain the inner resources, strength and power to deal with these situations as they arise. The circumstances of your life may or may not change but you will be transformed and better able to deal with it through a renewed connection with your Self and your own inner resources and authentic power.

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment offers a complete and structured path to guide you back to your native sense of wellbeing. Plus, it’s a path that you can follow at your own pace and fit around your lifestyle and commitments.

If you’re inspired to dive into the Serene Empowerment process right away, it’s available in paperback or as an eBook in most online bookstores.

See book in store.

The Story of Ego: The Rebel Without A Cause

This is the story of Ego from a spiritual (and mythical) perspective:

There is a Creator, a Source of Unconditional Love that created joy, peace, oneness and freedom, and created spiritual beings and a world in which to enjoy and extend this joy, peace and freedom.  

Then there is the Ego, who wanted to create independently of the Source, to make up its own world of joy, peace and freedom. But creating independently of the Source of Love means that you create everything that the Source is not.  So instead of creating an experience of Oneness and Unity, the Ego made a state of aloneness and separation.

The Ego needed an environment in which to experience this state of aloneness and separation so it made a world that was the mirror image of the Source's world of joy, peace and freedom.  But because this world was separate from the world of the Source of Love, the Ego's world was a place of sorrow, war and restriction.
  
The Ego needed a vehicle through which to experience the world that was made, so the body was made for the Ego to experience the world.  The vehicle had eyes - all the better for the Ego to see the world with.  The vehicle had ears - all the better for the Ego to hear the world.  The Ego's vehicle had a nose in order to smell its world and the Ego's vehicle had hands in order to feel and touch its world.  

Because the Ego's world is a back-to-front, upside down version of the Source's world, things work in exactly the opposite way.  Instead of looking inside to experience happiness, peace, power and freedom, the Ego has to look to physical things outside of itself to supply happiness, peace and freedom. Abundance and power is symbolised by money.  Happiness is symbolised by conditional love and circumstances meeting conditional expectations. Instead of being and experiencing Love, the Ego has to try and get substitutes for Love to make up for the emptiness inside.

The Ego's goal is to be independent of the Source of Love.  But to be independent of love is to be without love and to find yourself in a world of pain.   

The Ego is the original rebel without a cause.  Because the Original Cause is Love.

Amazing Peace

Sometimes we tend to think of "peace" just as quietness, calm or boredom.  We tend to equate peace with the absence of excitement or with simply being relaxed.  Or we tend to equate peace with death as in RIP.

But there are other meanings of peace.  

Peace is not just a case of deep relaxation or being in tranquil surroundings.  Peace can be a state of mind.  

You can be at peace in the middle of tumultuous surroundings, chaos, noisy environment, a war zone, if you are connected to your inner peace.

This state of inner peace is not just a case of feeling supremely “chilled out”, deeply relaxed, mildly detached from everything or indifferent apathy.  

This Peace with a capital P is not only the absence of anxiety, stress and turmoil but the Presence of Love, Confidence and Trust, a transformative Peace that generates power and strength. 

It is a Peace where you feel safe to be your Self, no matter what you are doing or where you are or what circumstances you find yourself in.  You feel completely safe to express and radiate the Presence of Power and Love.  And therefore those who come into your presence for those moments, let down their defences and feel safe to be who they are.  

It is a Peace that is not only the absence of war and conflict, but a Peace that will give us a sense of purpose and direction, be the centre from which we operate and be the Guiding Star in our lives.

To sum up, Peace is power.  It is a state of grace, confidence and trust.  

Peace is also our stepping stone to experiencing happiness and well-being that is not dependent on our circumstances.  

The best and deepest type of happiness is happiness for no reason.

What is Serene Empowerment?

Serene Empowerment is the title of my forthcoming book and, as the title suggests, it is all about cultivating serenity and empowering one self through spiritual means in order to reduce anxiety and stress levels.

We normally equate power with physical strength, military force or with economic wealth, political control and global influence.

However in this context, I am equating power with internal and spiritual strength and I am describing serenity as courageous acceptance and transforming wisdom, as in the first part of the serenity prayer:  

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Serene Empowerment is the kind of power that comes from peace, inner abundance and connection to a powerful universal source of love rather than the kind of power that comes from economic riches, military force and controlling or manipulating others.  

In stillness, there is strength.  In peace, there is power.  In stillness, strength and peace, we have the power to transcend the stresses, anxieties and obstacles that may beset us in our daily lives with grace.

Serene Empowerment deals with restoring resilience and well-being, listening to intuitive guidance, reclaiming our true identity, recognising the power of thought to generate our experience, self-forgiveness and cultivating gratitude.