The Three Elements of Psychological and Spiritual Wellbeing

The 3 elements of natural and psychological wellbeing are Creation, Presence and Wisdom.

So, let’s first look at Creation.

This is the power to create through thought.

When we think, we receive ideas and we invest in the ideas that we believe in. We invest them with our energy, we bring them to life and then we see them outpictured in the world around us.

Now, this creative power of thought, as the name suggests, can manifest as our actual thinking, as the words we hear in our mind, or as mental imagery, and as memory and imagination.

But the Power of Creation can also manifest as our emotions and as bodily sensations, as a direct result of receiving and believing in these ideas.

The Power of Creation via thought can also manifest as the appearances of what we see around us and what we choose to pay attention to or focus on in our immediate environment.

The ideas we receive and believe can also manifest in our behaviour and in how we react and respond to other people.

These ideas also impact how we see ourselves and how we view others.

So, one seed idea can create, for us, an entire reality (or pseudo-reality, depending on its validity).

We could look at these ideas as seeds. We could look at beliefs as the water that nurtures the seeds. And we could view the mind as the soil in which the seeds blossom or fester.

Ideas can spread like weeds if they are very negative and we can descend down a rabbit hole of associated unhelpful, unconstructive and destructive ideas.

Alternatively, positive, life-affirming ideas can bloom and blossom likes flowers and contribute to, and enhance, our wellbeing and mental health.

So, that is the Power of Creation that produces our moment-to-moment experience. And you can therefore see, with problems such as low confidence or anxiety, how our seed ideas and beliefs can then contribute to our experience and affect how we see and react to, and interact with, the world around us.

The next fundamental element of natural wellbeing is the Power of Presence.

By Presence, we mean our True Self. The True Self is our identity that extends beyond the physical body and beyond our surface personality.

We could also call it the Soul. But it is a Universal Soul.

Presence could be described as Life itself. It is the animating spirit or what some cultures refer to as the Great Spirit that is the source of all living things.

The Power of Presence is the source of our healing. It contributes to our natural wellbeing because it is beyond the limitations of the physical body, personality and our individual psyche, emotional baggage and hang-ups.

This Eternal Presence existed before we were born and it is what we will eventually return to when our individual consciousness leaves the physical body at death.

And then finally, we have the Power of Wisdom.

This is the innate intelligence of the Great Spirit.

Wisdom is the Voice of the Great Spirit that we receive internally as intuition, clarity and guidance. It includes the wisdom of the ages, the sages and the collective intelligence of all Life.

So these are the three elements of natural wellbeing and psychological and spiritual healing.

And when you understand, access or merge with the Powers of Creation, Presence and Wisdom, they can elevate your wellbeing and expand your sense of Self and be an ever-present source of healing and guidance in your everyday life.

Overview of Stages 1 - 6 of the Serene Empowerment Process

Girl at Mirror by Norman Rockwell, 1954

The first six stages of the Serene Empowerment process for alleviating anxiety and managing stress deal with our most important relationship – the one that we have with our self.

It’s our most important relationship because the way that we perceive our self influences and affects the way that we perceive other people in our life, our society and the world.

Additionally, the way that we perceive our self affects everything we do, every decision we make and influences what we think is possible for us in life.

The way that we see our self can increase our anxiety and stress or it can enhance our power and maintain our strength.

The overarching theme of the first six stages of Serene Empowerment process is serenity – that state of being peaceful, calm and untroubled.

Each stage has a truth statement. They also each have a quality that we can cultivate or embody. So here is a brief overview of the first six stages of the Serene Empowerment process.

Stage 1

Truth Statement:     
We accept that there is a powerful Source within us that can provide us with guidance, wisdom, comfort and peace.

Quality:                      
Awareness

Summary:
We are never alone because we have a Source of Wisdom within us that can guide and help us with the stresses that we encounter in our daily life.

We learn to become aware of and connect with this Source of Wisdom through relaxation and through accepting our negative feelings exactly as they are in order for them to be transformed into resources that can help us.

Stage 2

Truth Statement:     
We turn our daily life over to the care and direction of this Source of Wisdom.

Quality:                      
Trust

Summary:
Once we have become aware of our Source of Guidance and Wisdom as a Living Presence in Stage 1, in Stage 2, we learn to cultivate the habit and practice of turning our daily life, our decisions, our problems and our worries over to the care and direction of this Creative Intelligence and Healing Source of Wisdom. We learn to allow our life to unfold under its direction.

Stage 3

Truth Statement:      We accept that our Original Authentic Self was created in the True Nature and Spirit of this Source of Wisdom and that we are still this Original Self, no matter what we have done or what we have failed to do as an ego personality.

Quality:                      
Self-Recognition

Summary:
We have made an image of our self that is based on what we believe to be our core identity.

This identity could be based on our physical appearance or a health condition or our religion or our nationality or our job title or a mental health diagnosis or a relationship role such as a parent or spouse.

This self-image is also composed of all the things that we think we’ve done wrong or the things that we think we have failed to do. This self is a cluster of beliefs, perceptions and judgements about who we think we are.

However, in Stage 3, we become aware of our Original Self that was here before we were born and that will continue to be present after our body has expired.

This Original Self is not the same as the ego personality that we think we are. It is a source of power and freedom from the limitations and suffering of the ego personality.

Stage 4

Truth Statement:     
We recognise that what we think creates our perception and, therefore, our experience of reality.

Quality:                      
Non-judgement

Summary:
Thought is the vehicle through which we experience life. We only see what’s going on in our own mind.

We don’t experience reality; we experience our judgements, opinions and interpretations about reality.

Our thoughts are the origin of our anxiety and stress and thus they dictate our responses and behaviour.

Stage 5

Truth Statement:     
We commit to continually forgiving and releasing our self from our past errors knowing that our power and healing lie in the present.

Quality:                      
Self-forgiveness

Summary

This stage involves releasing our selves from guilt and setting ourselves free from the prison of the past. We focus on conscience (another word for wisdom) rather than guilt. We also explore the four universal laws of inner peace: surrender, release, gratitude and love.

Stage 6

Truth Statement:     
We make a joyful inventory of all the blessings, gifts, abundance and miracles that we receive in our daily lives.

Qualities:                   
Gratitude and receptivity

Summary
This stage is a celebration of all the good that we have received. It is also a celebration and an acknowledgement of all the insights and inspirations we have received during this process as well as throughout our life as a whole.

What we focus on expands so the more we focus on being grateful, the more we are gifted with things, people and blessings to be grateful for.

The Serene Empowerment process is a gentle and positive pathway.

The book, Serene Empowerment: Spiritual Solutions for Managing Stress is currently available at Amazon and in other online bookstores. The book provides an introduction to all 12 stages and some practical exercises to help to reinforce the understanding of each of the stages.

FAQs about the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment

What are the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment?

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment, which is a holistic program for reducing stress and alleviating anxiety, is inspired by the structure of 12 step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous.

The Original Six Steps of AA

The first 12 step program, pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous, was originally just 6 steps. These were:

1.         We admitted that we were licked, that we were powerless over alcohol.

2.         We made a moral inventory of our defects or sins.

3.         We confessed or shared our shortcomings with another person in confidence.

4.         We made restitution to all those we had harmed by our drinking.

5.         We tried to help other alcoholics, with no thought of reward in money or prestige.

6.         We prayed to whatever God we thought there was for power to practise these precepts.

These 6 steps were later broken down and expanded into 12 steps.

Although the 12 stages of Serene Empowerment are similar in format to the 12 steps, the content and context are somewhat different.

The first 6 stages of the Serene Empowerment program are about healing our relationship with our self. Stages 7 to 12 concern, amongst other themes, our relationship with others.

Why treat conditions like anxiety and depression as if they are addictions?

We normally define addiction or addictive behaviours as having a compulsive need for a habit-forming substance such as alcohol, nicotine or heroin, for example.

We also may define addiction as having a compulsive need to perform a particular activity such as gambling, online gaming or shopping in order to get some kind of high.

We don’t normally define anxiety as an addiction because it’s not a guilty pleasure or indeed any kind of pleasure at all. It doesn’t bring you to a high and there is no short-lived payoff.

However, we can also define an addiction as something that we just can’t stop doing, no matter how hard we may try. So, if you can’t stop worrying or having anxious thoughts, for example, then in that sense, anxiety can be described as a kind of addiction.

As I said in a previous blog post: Why are negative thoughts and emotions are addictive:

“Just as our body becomes accustomed to the taste and flavour of certain foods and craves more of the same, our body also becomes accustomed to the “taste” and “flavour” of certain thoughts, feelings and moods – even those that we view as being negative.

The body/mind complex can become addicted to certain feelings - pleasurable or painful - and then the cells of the body cry out to be fed with more of that emotion…”

Why is it called 12 stages and not 12 steps?

Steps, States & Stages

Steps are like instructions. They can make up a formula or a recipe. You follow each step and hopefully attain a successful outcome.

A state of mind is usually temporary or fleeting. For example, you can be in a peaceful state of mind for a few days when you’re on holiday or on a retreat. Then when you get back home and have to return to work, you may enter an anxious state of mind which may last until the weekend when you have a couple of days off.

I see stages as being more permanent. A stage can be described as an understanding that you come to embody. It is a continual and ongoing way of being rather than just being a temporary mood or state of mind. The 12 Stages aim to bring about sustainable transformation.

The statements for the 12 Stages are not instructions or steps in the sense of being a recipe for success. The statements are also not really affirmations. They are more like realisations that you move into as you progress with each stage of development.

The titles of each stage are more like Truth Statements. Truth statements can be described as something that we already know to be true or that we are committed to bringing into our experience.

Read the truth statements for the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment in full.

Why use spiritual methods to deal with stress and anxiety?

The 12 Stage program of Serene Empowerment is not affiliated with any specific religion and it’s not a religious process.

However, it is a spiritual program in the holistic sense. This is spirituality in the sense of having a deep connection with the Natural Source of Our Being, the part of our consciousness that existed before we were born and that will continue to exist after our body has expired.

Just as we have a physical, emotional and mental part of the self, we also have to include our spiritual self as part of who we are. This Essential Original Spiritual Self has never been hurt, never been scared, never been traumatised and can be a reservoir of wisdom and healing when we learn how to connect with it.

Just as we need food to nourish our bodies, we need our spiritual resources to nourish our minds and give us an innate sense of wellbeing.

When we ignore or neglect the spiritual part of ourselves, we’re ignoring the most important part, the part that gives us strength, power, innate wisdom and inner healing.

The Loving All Method

In my recent blog post, Restoring Peace of Mind During Crises, I said that we are empowered when we fully accept the circumstances, events and situations that we cannot change. This is because emotional resistance creates more suffering on top of any stress and anxiety that we may already be experiencing.

We may feel powerless when certain circumstances arise (like global pandemics or political crises) that directly impact our daily lives but there is a power in accepting things exactly as they are rather than yearning for the way we would wish them to be.

This is an act of surrender to what is, rather than passive resignation or giving up hope and it is an act of surrender that can actually reduce our stress levels.

“Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.”

— Aldous Huxley

Normally, we tend to be consumed by our personality-mind which is the part of us that is always hurt or stressed or worrying about something. But, as I said in the previous blog post, one of the ways we can attain or maintain serenity in a crisis is through our ability to connect with our Essential or Original Self. This is the Self that has never been hurt or wounded and who exists in a state of total peace.

The Loving All Method, as taught by spiritual teacher, Michael Langford, is a stepping stone towards being able to maintain a peaceful untroubled emotional state, no matter what sort of turbulent situations we may be experiencing in our daily lives.

The Loving All Method is an unusual “meditation” practice in that you can do it while you are engaged in other activities and while you are going about your business during the day. You don’t have to set aside a special time to carry it out. It is a living mindful practice.

In summary, the Loving All Method involves accepting and embracing everything you experience exactly the way it is.

This includes accepting, allowing and embracing all your thoughts and emotions exactly as they are.

However, accepting and allowing all your thoughts and emotions does not mean acting or making decisions from a place of fear, stress and worry. It is just giving yourself permission to feel exactly what you feel.

The more completely you accept whatever it is you are feeling, the easier it is to eventually let that feeling go.

The Loving All Method also includes accepting and embracing your body exactly as it is, whether or not you have a diagnosis or health condition and whether or not you perceive yourself as being overweight or too skinny or too tall or too short.

It involves accepting what you see and accepting how you feel whether or not you like what you see. And it involves emotionally accepting everything that happens whether it is pleasurable or not.

There is a certain emotional freedom in allowing yourself to feel your negative emotions completely. But once again, it is not emotionally freeing to react to others via your negative emotions or to make any decisions (big or small) from that emotional headspace.

In the beginning, if you can’t accept and embrace the good, the bad and the ugly things you may be experiencing in daily life just as they are, he says you can initially practice the Loving All Method by just emotionally allowing everything that you experience to be exactly the way it is.

After about a month, Michael Langford says that you can practise emotionally accepting everything you experience just the way it is.

Then after that, you may be ready to begin practising embracing everything that you experience exactly the way it is.

This practice involves being present to everything that occurs without trying to escape. In any case, our situations will still be there whether we emotionally accept them or not.

Practising the Loving All Method doesn’t mean that you don’t protect yourself when you’re in danger. It just means you accept and embrace the circumstances of having to protect yourself.

He says, “If someone were to try to punch you in the face and if you would normally duck, you will also duck while practicing the Loving All Method. Loving the fact that someone is trying to punch you does not mean you will not duck. You also love ducking to avoid being punched.”

“Acceptance is the initiator for change and the first step of transformation.”

— Diana Whitmore

Practising the Loving All Method doesn’t mean that you don’t change the things that need to be changed. When you need to change something, you embrace having to change it.

He emphasises that the Loving All Method refers only to our emotional responses to circumstances, not to our external behaviour. We emotionally accept what is happening rather than emotionally rejecting it. But if there is something we need to change or do and it is within our power to do so, we do it.

For example, if an injustice occurs, we emotionally accept that an injustice has occurred. But if it is in our power to rectify that injustice, even though we have emotionally accepted it, we still work towards undoing that injustice. We emotionally accept negative things that happen but if we can simultaneously put them right, we do so.

Energy that was once used to emotionally resist and reject circumstances can now be used to correct and solve situations or our perceptions of these situations.

You can get the full description and practice instructions of the Loving All Method from Chapter 12 of Michael Langford’s book The Direct Means to Eternal Bliss which is available at this link: http://www.damienboyle.com/page23/files/TMDMTEB.pdf

Restoring Peace of Mind During Crises

What is Serenity?

The dictionary defines serenity as the ‘state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled’.

The famous Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr asks that we have the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.

Often it takes courage as well as serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the things that are beyond our control such as traumatic events that occurred in the past, unexpected situations like the sudden outbreak of a global pandemic or political crises that have direct consequences for our personal lives.

Changing the things that we have the power to change in our daily life is sometimes less stressful than having to accept that there are other circumstances and situations that are beyond our control.

I sometimes feel that the solution lies in the reverse: in being able to allow and accept the idea that unexpected situations will sometimes conspire to disrupt our best laid plans. Being able to allow, accept and even embrace this idea is a step towards eventually gaining that state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled.

Our Essential Self and Our Surface Personality

Our surface personality and identity are made up of our character traits, perceived strengths and weaknesses and how we define ourselves (for example, by race, job title, gender, ethnicity, nationality, family relationships, health diagnoses, physical appearance and so on). This is the self that feels pain, hurt, stress, anxiety and turmoil (as well as fleeting happiness when things go well).

Our Essential Self is the Self that has never been wounded, never been hurt and exists in a perpetual trouble-free state of calm, serenity and peace. It’s the Self that we always have access to but many of us don’t know it exists. This Self lives in a state of pure awareness and acceptance (otherwise known as unconditional love). This Self is open to all experience, is aware of all experience and it transcends all experience. It is a state of being where no judgement and no resistance exists.

On the other hand, our surface personality lives in a state of constant judgement and resistance. The surface personality thrives on drama and, although it may look to “fix” itself or improve itself, it can never really be fixed because its default mode is fear.

But our Essential Constant Self doesn’t even need “fixing” or healing. Our Essential Self heals.

Some traditions call this Self, the Witness or the Observer. This Self has been the only constant part of our identity. It was around when we were a baby. It was there at the age of four. Ever present during our adolescence, twenties, thirties and it is continually present now. It was present before we were born into a physical body and it will continue to exist after we leave the physical body.

The key to serenity is being able to contact, experience and be consciously aware of this Constant Self, this state of pure awareness and acceptance. First you make contact, then you experience it, then you learn to be consciously aware of it all the time and then, you become it.

A lot of our energy is spent on resisting things that are beyond our remit to change. It is often futile, frustrating and depressing. Resistance to what is creates suffering on top of the actual situation that is going on.

However, when we accept that we feel helpless, frustrated and depressed about situations without acting on these feelings and we give ourselves permission to feel frustrated, helpless and depressed without judging or condemning ourselves, this is a first step that will eventually enable us to transcend these feelings and move closer to the Constant Self and the state of calm acceptance, serenity and peace.

The mind can choose to focus and identify with the problems of life or it can choose to focus and identify with the Sacred Space that is our Essential Self through which problems can be solved.

We can’t deal successfully with problems from the level or the consciousness where they were created (as Einstein said). When we view our problems through the lens of the surface personality, they can seem insurmountable. But when we view life through the lens of the Essential Self, clarity and inspiration results and situations can be healed.

Our Internal Antidote to Stress

We all have an antidote to our feelings of anxiety, stress and worry. It is a source of wisdom, guidance, comfort, strength and power that resides within us.

Unfortunately, the catch is the more worried and stressed out, anxious and overwhelmed we are, the more we feel disconnected to this source of power, wisdom and guidance. It’s a real catch 22, a vicious circle. The thing we need most is the thing we feel most disconnected from. And we feel disconnected it from this source even though it’s right there within us. For most of us, this source of wisdom lies dormant waiting to be activated.

This source within us is an instinctive intelligence, a sort of internal guidance system. It’s the same sort of intelligence that helps us to breathe or our hearts beat without us consciously having to think about it. It’s the same intelligence that makes the flowers grow and the same instinctive intelligence that animals have.

When we’re relaxed and we’re not even thinking about an issue, problem or situation that’s been causing us stress and overwhelm or overburdening us, sometimes we are blessed with ah-ha moments and lightbulb moments of inspiration. This is this source of instinctive intelligence at work.

When we’re not directly thinking about a troublesome situation or using our intellect and our problem-solving faculties to work it out, sometimes a potential solution pops into our mind. This instinctive wisdom is different from intellectual knowledge. Sometimes we can just keep going around in mental circles when we try to troubleshoot using logic and intellect alone.

This is why when we’re engaged in something mundane or everyday such as doing the washing up, walking the dog, an idea or solution can emerge in our minds. This is our source of wisdom, our internal power source at work.

When we use the intellect, often we always fall back on what we always have done. We use a past perspective to try and solve current problems. We looked at what has worked before. We don’t look at a new problem with fresh eyes. Whereas this source of intelligence usually gives us a fresh new perspective, an outside of the box solution and sometimes a “counterintuitive” way of solving the issue or the problem or the situation.

The more relaxed we feel, the more connected we can become to this source of wisdom.

The other important factor is trust. Because listening to this source guidance is about learning to trust this innate intelligence within us.

There are 12 stages in the Serene Empowerment process. Stage 1 is:  We accept that there is a powerful source within us that can provide us with guidance, wisdom, comfort and peace in our daily lives.

Read more about the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment.

Why Use Spiritual Solutions to Manage Stress and Anxiety

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment is a process that I’ve developed which helps to ease the anxiety that sometimes stops us from performing or functioning effectively at work, socially or at home.

As the pressures of modern life increase, finding healthy ways to deal with our anxiety and stress is more vital than ever.

Anxiety doesn’t just stop us from enjoying life or from performing effectively but it can also be exhausting, draining, paralysing and unfortunately, totally addictive.

At its worst, ongoing anxiety can lead to mental health problems and, of course, it’s well known that stress is one of the biggest causes of physical ill health and disease.

A holistic and spiritual approach to addressing our issues of anxiety and stress is often the crucial missing piece or missing peace.

But by spiritual, I don’t necessarily mean religious. This is spirituality in the sense of having a deep connection with the Natural Source of Our Being. The innate essence of strength, healing, power and wisdom that’s within us but which usually lies dormant and forgotten.

Just as we need food to nourish our bodies, we need our spiritual resources to nourish our minds and give us an innate sense of wellbeing.

When we ignore or neglect the spiritual part of ourselves, we’re ignoring the most important part, the part that gives us strength, power, innate wisdom and inner healing.

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment has been inspired by the 12 Steps of Alcoholic Anonymous. But because the focus is on easing anxiety, it adopts a slightly gentler approach.

It’s also based on universal spirituality and it’s a simple path designed to reduce anxiety and stress levels one day at a time.

With the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment, you focus on a single stage for say a day, week or month. As you choose.

With the book, Serene Empowerment, you can follow the daily guide which takes you through one stage a week. Each stage focuses on one particular topic. Each day revolves around an exercise, thought for the day or a recommendation to keep you focused and on track.

The ultimate aim of the 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment is to help reduce anxiety. Your life may still be busy. You may still have pressurising deadlines. You may still have to face challenging family circumstances but you’ll gradually gain the inner resources, strength and power to deal with these situations as they arise. The circumstances of your life may or may not change but you will be transformed and better able to deal with it through a renewed connection with your Self and your own inner resources and authentic power.

The 12 Stages of Serene Empowerment offers a complete and structured path to guide you back to your native sense of wellbeing. Plus, it’s a path that you can follow at your own pace and fit around your lifestyle and commitments.

If you’re inspired to dive into the Serene Empowerment process right away, it’s available in paperback or as an eBook in most online bookstores.

See book in store.

Amazing Peace

Sometimes we tend to think of "peace" just as quietness, calm or boredom.  We tend to equate peace with the absence of excitement or with simply being relaxed.  Or we tend to equate peace with death as in RIP.

But there are other meanings of peace.  

Peace is not just a case of deep relaxation or being in tranquil surroundings.  Peace can be a state of mind.  

You can be at peace in the middle of tumultuous surroundings, chaos, noisy environment, a war zone, if you are connected to your inner peace.

This state of inner peace is not just a case of feeling supremely “chilled out”, deeply relaxed, mildly detached from everything or indifferent apathy.  

This Peace with a capital P is not only the absence of anxiety, stress and turmoil but the Presence of Love, Confidence and Trust, a transformative Peace that generates power and strength. 

It is a Peace where you feel safe to be your Self, no matter what you are doing or where you are or what circumstances you find yourself in.  You feel completely safe to express and radiate the Presence of Power and Love.  And therefore those who come into your presence for those moments, let down their defences and feel safe to be who they are.  

It is a Peace that is not only the absence of war and conflict, but a Peace that will give us a sense of purpose and direction, be the centre from which we operate and be the Guiding Star in our lives.

To sum up, Peace is power.  It is a state of grace, confidence and trust.  

Peace is also our stepping stone to experiencing happiness and well-being that is not dependent on our circumstances.  

The best and deepest type of happiness is happiness for no reason.

What is Serene Empowerment?

Serene Empowerment is the title of my forthcoming book and, as the title suggests, it is all about cultivating serenity and empowering one self through spiritual means in order to reduce anxiety and stress levels.

We normally equate power with physical strength, military force or with economic wealth, political control and global influence.

However in this context, I am equating power with internal and spiritual strength and I am describing serenity as courageous acceptance and transforming wisdom, as in the first part of the serenity prayer:  

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Serene Empowerment is the kind of power that comes from peace, inner abundance and connection to a powerful universal source of love rather than the kind of power that comes from economic riches, military force and controlling or manipulating others.  

In stillness, there is strength.  In peace, there is power.  In stillness, strength and peace, we have the power to transcend the stresses, anxieties and obstacles that may beset us in our daily lives with grace.

Serene Empowerment deals with restoring resilience and well-being, listening to intuitive guidance, reclaiming our true identity, recognising the power of thought to generate our experience, self-forgiveness and cultivating gratitude.